I’m really sad. I’m thinking about last year when my mom almost died in front of me and my sister. I wanted to tell someone how I’m feeling but I don’t want to burden anyone with that. I’m just thinking about the look on her face and how she had a hard time staying awake and I kept thinking “I hope this isn’t the last time I see her with her eyes open.” I cried about it for months and didn’t want to leave my mom’s side. What would I do without her? How could I ever go through that again except next time maybe she won’t be saved? I haven’t thought about it in months but I’m thinking about it tonight and it’s depressing the hell out of me. It just makes me want to go into her room and give her a hug.
Why do people still follow the Bible like it’s law when we have so much evidence for the Big Bang? You can measure by light how old the universe is. And it’s infinitely expanding. I don’t understand why people will hear this and just become angry and mention something about hell. I mean really, what separates the stories we hear now from Zeus that we know isn’t real. It’s basically the same thing. Stories of people doing what was considered the right thing at the time. Our knowledge has moved us beyond that and if there were a God he would be beyond the universe.
It bothers me that many people use religion as a way to refuse knowledge. It doesn’t matter if they believe or not because it’s still a fact and still true so just let go of that fear and open your eyes to the universe. It’s amazing. It’s also very good for your soul to realize you’re just a creature on a planet in a galaxy that’s in a gigantic universe we have barely even explored. That makes your everyday decisions a lot easier when you don’t have to constantly consider God’s plan and that you’re this special person with a special purpose.
Just live your life and do what makes you and the people you love happy. Owing yourself to people or to God can be very limiting. I would never do anything because it’s my “duty” but because I want to. Besides a job, I guess.
What is with the contradiction of sexes? If you’re a woman then it is your duty to get married and have children. If you’re a man then you don’t want to be tied down by a wife or children but just play the field. Who are these women supposed to marry when men aren’t supposed to get married? Who are these men supposed to sleep with when women are supposed to wait to have sex with only their husband?
I was collecting carts today and I see this guy walking up with his empty cart. So I go to take it from him but he pushes it into the railings so I have to walk inside there now to get the cart, but he doesn’t stop there. He tries pushing a smaller cart into a big cart and I say “Oh, those two aren’t going to fit.” And he straight up ignores me and tries a few more times before I finally jump over and grab the cart from him. Then he says “okay?” Like he doesn’t fucking believe me that these two carts won’t fit together. All he would have done was shove them together and then I would have had to use my legs to pry them apart because I can’t stack them like that. I got so pissed off. His wife must hate him.
Psychologically, if a man finds you attractive, he’s more likely to think you also have interest in him. It explains why a lot of guys are so pushy and aggressive. Doesn’t matter the age difference or if he’s homeless or anything. You’re attractive to him so you must want to have sex with him. Why else would you be born attractive? Why else would you have a vagina? You owe it to any man that finds you attractive to have sex with them or you’re a tease.
My family on my dad’s side favors boys over girls. As a girl, I was supposed to earn my keep in the house by doing chores and catering to the men in the house. My brother just gets to sleep in and actually enjoy his childhood. Luckily I live with my mom who doesn’t treat me that way but I’m sure other families act like my dad does. That gives little girls this idea that they’re not as good as boys. Girls aren’t even good enough to just live in a home. They have to earn their place in the house. They have to earn love from another human being while the boy just gets it. Of course those little boys grow up to disrespect women and abuse them. They think women are supposed to earn acceptance and it is his right as a man to use her as he sees fit.
In fact, my dad tells me all the time that I’m a crazy feminist and I’ll end up alone for the rest of my life. Because to him, if you’re not constantly “worshipping your man” then you don’t deserve love and no one would stay with a woman like that. My dad also believes that men cannot worship women because you cannot worship and be worshipped at the same time.
My dad is actually a really good guy, but because his parents raised him to think this way, he thinks that’s what’s right. Many people do think this way about men and women and they continue to teach it to their kids. The cycle needs to stop.
Sometimes I just want to adopt instead of have my own kid (I think I’m adopting either way though, even if I do have my own kid too). You can give someone who’s already on this planet a loving home instead of creating a person who will feel pain and sadness. Life is scary right now with overpopulation and a limit on resources. It really makes me on the fence about ever creating a life. I’d rather it just randomly happen to me than to plan it out.
A lot of my friends tell me I’m kinda full of myself. I am but everyone else should be full of themselves too. I don’t like looking in the mirror and thinking “wow here are all the things wrong with me today.” I’m more like “nice, I look pretty okay.” And then go on with my day. I don’t understand why simply having confidence is a bad thing.